January Jigsaw
From today the sun sets a little later each day. The snowdrops are appearing, responding to the growing light. I feel their promise to nourish me through the rest of the winter.
I’m not big on new years resolutions but I see this time from Solstice to the new calendar year as a time to pause, reflect and look ahead.
My intention for this year, is the same as last year and for many years previously. It’s to be more authentic. For me this has meant, to know myself better, warts and all, to speak my truth and to show up in spite of my inner voices of ‘not good enough’.
I remember the first time I declared this intention. It felt so right and yet so intangible. The way ahead felt foggy. What I understand now is that for many years I had spent a lot of time with my nervous system shut down in ‘freeze’.
Freeze is a place of survival, where the nervous system prioritises simply staying alive. The higher brain is not needed and goes ‘offline’. We don’t have any clarity of thinking or understanding. Our lens is foggy and our energy low. Life feels like a struggle.
I was doing lots of Yoga which created more flexibility in my body but I didn’t understand then how to use Yoga to increase the flexibility of my nervous system.
The journey to being more authentic required a baseline shift from ‘freeze’ to social engagement system. This is the more evolved part of the nervous system that we need to thrive and flourish. When times are tough and send me into a survival response, I can use my practices to shift back…I don’t get stuck in freeze.
It took me a long time to find the pieces of my jigsaw and they weren’t all in the one nice box with a picture on the front. They were randomly scattered, hiding under the carpet or stuck in the back of a dark cupboard. I’m not saying I’ve found them all yet, but the picture is coming to life. The picture of me, who I’ve been all along…but now less scattered and more whole.
I have explored various disciplines and practices along the way and keep coming back to Yoga, Mindfulness and Compassion to manage this dance of the nervous system towards more inner ease and outer self-expression.
So my intention for 2022 is to continue the Sally jigsaw and to allow the picture to keep emerging. Keep sharing the tools that continue to support me. Keep learning, integrating and resting back into the process of becoming more me.
Wishing you well with the jigsaw of life